Grieving Is Different for Everyone

Grieving looks and feels different for everyone. Loss is very individual for each person. The emotions that flood over you, often arrive at different pressures and frequencies. Very much like the waves of a lake or ocean, the waves of grief also arrive at different pressures and even at unexpected times. One day you may struggle so significantly that you can’t talk without sobbing uncontrollably. The next day, you may be able to have a very productive day and feel “okay” emotionally. It is possible and often times, quite normal.

Depending on the circumstances of your loss, certain things may be more or less emotionally triggering as you cycle along the process. Certain thoughts may remind you of your loved one. A memory may pop up. Certain songs or even smells may trigger that loss. Another memory pops up. The wave of emotions return. Just remember, there is no wrong or right way to grieve. There is no timeframe of when you “should” be “past this.” The grieving process is not a straight line with an “end point” and instead often feels more like a cycle.

You May Cycle Through Many Emotions

You may cycle through various emotions including denial, shock, depression or sadness, and anger. You may find yourself trying to make sense of the loss. Constantly trying to find a reason that makes sense to you, as to why that loss occurred. We search for a “reason,'“ because surely if we have a “reason”, something would “make sense”, or so we believe. You may also find yourself dwelling on the “what if’s.” What if I did this or what if i did that, maybe my loved one would still be here with me. You may even begin to question your faith, because surely God would not let this happen because it is completely unfair. I assure you, these are all very normal thoughts and feelings.

Healing Takes Time

Remember that healing from a loss takes time. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. It is a very important step to focus on your own self-care throughout this time. Allow yourself to cycle through your emotions and thoughts. Know that you do not have to do so alone. Professionals can help. Friends and family can be supportive. Journaling may also be a helpful outlet to release some of your own thoughts and feelings privately. Prayer is another private outlet. Turning to God in such difficult times allows you to be vulnerable and helps you to know there is a higher power to assist you through these difficult times. No matter what outlet you choose, remember that you can and will heal in time. Everyone’s process looks different. That’s okay.

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