How to Achieve Happiness in Three Simple Steps

Let's take a moment to think about how often we find ourselves struggling with happiness. Is it something that we tend to over-complicate? Sometimes I think yes and other times I think we don't. There are so many experiences in this world that we attempt to put a label on. You may often hear all of these descriptive words after we engage in or try a new activity, such as, "that was strange," or "well that was depressing," or even ,"wow, that was terrifying." How often do we refer to experiences as, "that was such a happy experience" or even take note when something truly makes us feel happy. Instead, we often hear people describe themselves as "feeling good," or "I'm good." Why? When was the last time you heard someone say, "I feel so happy"?

I know that this may seem like such a strange subject to analyze, however, I believe it's an important one. We get so caught up in the news which often displays many negative events that are currently happening. It's so rare that "happy" situations are being reported. Why? Instead, we may get one short segment on the news of a "happy local story," that seems to get no coverage at all. Instead, we want to focus on politics, weather (which often leads to struggles when Mother Nature takes her course), local corruptness or people that experienced some kind of trauma or horrible injustice. It's almost like the media and news have shaped our mindset into thinking it's strange or bizarre to identify being "happy." Nobody wants to discuss or talk about "happiness." Well, I think THAT is the first problem and if you agree, please continue to read further.

I truly believe that happiness can be broken down into three easy and very simple steps. The only problem is our OVER-COMPLICATION of such an amazing subject. Let's first take the definition of "happiness." According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of happiness is "a state of well-being and contentment" or even "a pleasurable or satisfying experience." It's THAT simple. When you break down the definition, does that change things for you? Do you realize that maybe something as simple as taking the dog for a walk was a "pleasurable experience." Possibly, earlier today when you had breakfast with your family, you may have been in a state of "contentment." If the answers to these questions is "yes," then my friend, you have experienced happiness more often than you realize. 

I think people "over-complicate" happiness  when they believe that it needs to be an experience or a state of being that is quite often unachievable or even rare. This does not have to be the case. Instead it can be quite the opposite. It can be very frequent. Life is extremely short and to over-complicate your happiness- a state of contentment or satisfaction- would be the biggest tragedy. Three simple ways to achieve happiness include the following:

1. STOP. Detach yourself from whatever is happening and complete a "check-in" with yourself. Ask yourself, "what do I need right now?" Are you feeling tired? Do you need to sleep? Are you feeling bored? Do you need to find a hobby or passion? Are you feeling confused and maybe need some clarity or a break or alone time to recharge? Many times people do not allow themselves to "check in" with what they need. This is such an important and vital step to happiness. If you are not in tune with what your body and mind need, you will not be able to find that state of contentment or satisfaction. Get in the habit of asking your mind and body what it needs, and take the next step by giving yourself that need. 

2. Gratitude. Think about and identify the things you are most grateful for. There are many things in life that we take for granted. Family, friends, our home, our education, or basic necessities, our health, or memory, or body, etc. What are you most grateful for? Why are you grateful for those things? When you are struggling with happiness, consider some of these things and I promise you that it will boost your happiness level no matter what.

3. Breathe. Breathing is one thing that we don't think about on a daily basis. We breathe all day and all night long. It's something our body knows to do without us thinking about it. Sometimes, when things become overwhelming we forget to breathe OR we breathe TOO much and hyperventilate. When we focus on breathing effectively it often creates a state of "calmness" and or "contentment." It's one of the basic coping skills we learn in mindfulness techniques. It is also something that grounds us in the moment and allows us to be present.

Practicing these three steps in order can help us in our moments of distress and allow us to experience happiness and contentment when we need it most. Try practicing them a few times per day until they become routine and easier. Just like any other skill, they need to be practiced to be effective. Add these steps to your coping skills toolbox and they will sure to be second-nature in no time. 

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